Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the LORD “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. This quote has shown me the light in the darkest days, this quote has grounded me when my anxiety has me contemplating every life decision, I have made to get me to where I am now. I believe in this quote, I know my future is going to be bright and successful and whilst I am only 21 years old and have lived through enough trauma, I know that whatever comes next, I will be able to handle it.
If I could describe myself, I would say that I am: funny, caring, stubborn and sometimes an overthinker (most times). These characteristics have been with me since I was young, I learnt how to be funny, I have two younger siblings, and I wanted to make people laugh. I was such a sassy and cheeky girl when I was younger. I loved it. I still do now, some of the children I work with call me Miss Sassy and I love it!! With the upbringing I had, it was normal for me to be caring, for my siblings and my parents, this followed through for my friends, my dysfunctional family and my siblings. I think I got my stubbornness from my parents; I wouldn’t change it though; it made me who I am today. I learnt this year that being stubborn doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and I see it as a positive. I shall be stubborn if there is a cause worth fighting for. I have anxiety, I want to say struggle, but it’s become a relationship where I can tolerate it and I know how to overcome situations where I feel overwhelmed, if I can’t I have a dysfunctional family who I can talk to which helps.
One thing that I can openly say I struggle with is being kind to myself. Being an older sister has its challenges, combine that with a toxic upbringing and you will find there is someone like me. For as long as I can remember I have always put other people first before myself. In a way it’s a maternal instinct, whilst I don’t have any children of my own, I learned how to mature quickly so I can take care of others. And then I got put into care. For once, other people were looking after us, and it’s hard to give up that overwhelming responsibility to just stop and be a kid. I haven’t perfected the craft of learning how to relax, and if my friend were to say she feels overwhelmed, I would be the first person to give her advice but it’s hard for me to take my advice. I guess it’s the constant feeling that you have to be on the go, because the minute I am idle, it’s like what am I supposed to do? But like I said I am currently in the Pending Princess Process moment of my life.
I like the phrase, ‘If life gives you lemons you make lemonade’. Whoever or whatever you believe in life will find a way to give you resources and it’s up to you to decide how you use it. I mean, the person didn’t have to make lemonade, they could have sold the lemons without having to create lemonade. And I think that’s how I view my own life so far. I was born into a family, I experienced trauma, I escaped, dealt with social services, my behaviour problems, education and the statistics and outcomes of what happens to people in care, and I realised I don’t want to follow the statistics. I don’t want to be your stereotypical kid in care. I realised whilst the Lord gave me this life I could either let society conform me or I could do something for me and change the script of the statistics and stereotypes. So, I began to work hard, long story short, I got my GCSE, got my A levels and I am currently in my last year of university. It was not an easy journey; it never is when you want something. I struggled with my mental health, loneliness, identity and how to be kind to myself.
Leicestershire Cares has been a safe haven
Life would throw opportunities in my life and best believe I took it. Since moving to Leicester to study at university, I found myself working for Leicester City In The Community, I have been able to work with amazing children who have their challenges, so if I have to be the fun person in their life who dances and sings or hypes them up for their achievements best believe I am going to do it. I have been to St Georges Park, I took part in a programme called snowcamp and learnt how to ski and then skied down a mountain in Andorra, I skydived to raise money for young carers, I was a panellist for the Premier League Charitable Fund conference, where premier league football foundations across the UK would come down and exchange the work they are doing in their community. I don’t know what waits for me in the future, but I am grateful to have experienced these opportunities. Leicestershire Cares has been a safe haven for when life is doing a bit too much, it’s also been a place where I can feel empowered to make a change for the future. I have been able to talk to councillors who are in charge of care experienced individuals, whether it’s a conversation on how they can support us now or giving them reasons to why they should support the movement of care experienced being a protected characteristic.
For more information on our Leaving Care team and what we can support with contact Krishna.
Krishna@leicestershirecares.co.uk
07894682868